It’s OK not to be OK at Christmas
The bells are jingling, the lights are twinkling, and Mariah Carey's voice is on repeat...everywhere. But for some, the festive cheer of Christmas rings hollow. In the midst of forced merrymaking and curated social media perfection, a simple truth often gets buried: It's okay to not be okay at Christmas.
Yes, even amidst the obligatory carols and family gatherings, a wave of sadness, loneliness, or grief can wash over you. And pretending these feelings don't exist only worsens the internal struggle. Instead, let's untangle the tinsel and acknowledge that Christmas isn't always a time of universal joy.
Life doesn't pause for festive decorations. Loss, illness, financial hardship, strained relationships – any of these can cast a shadow on the season. Grieving a loved one, navigating a difficult break-up, or battling personal demons doesn't magically disappear as snowflakes fall. For some, the pressure to be happy can amplify existing anxieties, making the season feel like an endurance test rather than a joyous celebration.
Here's the thing: your feelings are valid. You're not obligated to grin and bear it just because Christmas is "supposed to be" merry. Acknowledging your pain is not a Scrooge-like act; it's a human one. Suppressing emotions only leads to festering resentment and isolation.
So, how do we navigate this emotional tightrope? I am certainly no emotional expert or self healing guru, but here are some insights I’m trying to keep in mind over the holidays:
Give yourself permission to feel: Acknowledge your sadness, grief, or whatever is weighing you down. Don't judge or minimize your emotions. Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist – it's okay to need a listening ear.
Set realistic expectations: Don't compare your Christmas to the picture-perfect versions on social media. Focus on your own needs and create traditions that resonate with you, even if they involve staying in pajamas and watching movies all day, or chatting over facetime for hours to old friends who ground you.
Prioritize self-care: Don't let the holiday obligations drain your energy. Take time for activities that bring you comfort and peace, whether it's a long bath, a walk in nature, or curled up with a good book.
Boundaries are okay: Don't feel pressured to attend every gathering or fulfill every social obligation, or even be around people who don’t feel genuine or “safe” to you. It's perfectly acceptable to politely decline and prioritize your well-being.
Remember, you're not alone: Reach out to others who might be struggling. Knowing you're not the only one feeling down can be a source of solace and connection.
I don’t think Christmas should be a competition for festive cheer. Maybe it’'s a time for reflection, gratitude, and connecting with loved ones, but in your own way and on your own terms. Whatever that means to you. Give yourself the gift of grace, acceptance, and self-compassion. If this Christmas isn't your happiest, that's okay. There will be others, filled with sunshine and laughter. But for now, embrace the quieter moments, the imperfect feelings, and know that even amidst the glitter and tinsel, it's perfectly okay to not be okay.
Because sometimes, the truest Christmas magic lies in accepting the reality of our human experience, flaws and all.
